(Updated December 31, 2024. Original publication date December 29, 2022. Given President Biden’s unprecedented pardon of Hunter, the original poem was updated and a video was created.)

Video Version

Hunter Biden, the world knows his name.
After all, he plays a privileged game.

Raised in the lap of political clout,
You’d think he would have become a boy scout.

But further from the truth you’d be;
His life has been one big debauchery.

Despite the Ivy schools he’s attended,
Morals and ethics were not comprehended

To be fair, Hunter has many addictions,
So one may wonder about his convictions.

Now, here’s where that privilege comes into play:
Threat of conviction is magically waived.

While Father Joe touted strict drug abuse laws,
Hunter used his surname as his own Santa Claus.

For poor and brown people, that sleigh didn’t stop,
Leaving many to work in the prison workshop.

As his scandalous days and years came to pass,
Hunter’s mishaps became more high-class

This grifter and addict, per month he received
Fifty thousand for “knowledge,” they’d have you believe

Conflict of interest? What does that mean?
The Biden blind-eye machine is a meme.

Lest we forget the laptop from hell;
No Russian disinfo, just awkward bombshell.

What has been gleaned from this verified gem?
Failure to condemn some Biden family men.

Illicit gun purchase? Never mind the chatter.
The Secret Service will help cover the matter.

Don’t forget the federal tax probe
From Hunter’s dealings around our vast globe.

Shady business ties, does the FBI care?
Not if you’re a political heir.

Consequences, there surely must be:
A twenty thousand per month Malibu sanctuary.

Exotic cars and flights on Air Force One
Are part of an exclusive punitory shun.

Then came Hunter’s extraordinary pardon
Reserved just for him, not the average downtrodden.

So, what lessons have we learned from our Nation’s first son?
Money and power buy a privileged end run.